So... Maybe it's been a year since I've blogged. But, I'm having a moment...
I've always tried my hardest to "put matters into God's hands." As a natural worrier, my mom had to preach this to me as a child, and has modeled it to me throughout life. I find myself having to talk and pray about this with Nolan. This comfort in my faith has labeled me as a "laid back" mom. I never know if I should be flattered or offended by this comment. :-)
I'm that mom who doesn't have a gate at her staircase because I decided instead to teach my kid to scoot on down, the mom who puts her 20 month old in a bed because Im excited for my baby sis to take the nursery furniture, the mom who signs up for a masters program, and takes on a second "job" after having a baby. I've fretted from time to time what people think... If they judge, or think I'm a horrible example of a woman or mother. But then I pray. And I remember that I am where I am supposed to be. I remember that "This is the day The Lord hath made," and I try my darndest to put on a smile, take a deep breath, and rejoice and be present in every moment I am given.
It's definitely not always easy, and I mess up a lot. But I'm thankful for those moments that I grow. The "God Winks" I'm given when I've decided to lean in, and am not sure if I can handle it.
Tonight I'm reminded that God does support you when you lean in and apply yourself. I played with my adorable babes on this rainy day. I completed a long list of not so fun homework, I took time to grade and work on school stuff, and I signed up my first consultant for my R + F team. I'm feeling like everything is going to be ok. And I'm reassured that the crazy paths I find myself on are the right paths. I guess I'm writing for those working moms who find the days slipping into weeks, the weeks into months..... the moms who's news feeds are backed up with the posts that are an extra guilt smack to the face. We can't do it all, but we surely can do our best. I know the guilt you feel and the worry you have. I think you're awesome though, and I'll continue to keep you in my prayers! Remember that we are where we are supposed to be, and if you take time and rejoice in The Lord, he really does lead you in the right direction. It sometimes has some twists and turns, but it's usually a beautiful mess along the way. Here's to all mommas! Because we all struggle with finding peace that we are doing what's best for our babes. Anyone who feels guilty should just visit my house and meet my red head. :-) You are certain to soon feel very good about your parenting techniques!
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